My Sausage Was Frozen, Thawed, and Fried

If you are expecting some naughty post here, shame on you! After convincing Ron that he really needed to bring me back Italian sausage, the one food item I have not had for over six years, he did. My instructions were to deep freeze the packages, wrap them in aluminum foil, and then put them in plastic bags. Packing them in his checked luggage should have gotten them here safely. What I had not counted on was his luggage getting lost and being delivered the day after he arrived. The great sausage hunt was on. Rip open that suitcase. They were still cold or if they were a person, they would need to put on a sweater type chilly, but not even close to frozen. Googling food safety, the advice is that after two hours outside of a refrigerator, it is time to abort the mission, fail the test, give up the ghost. Six years without an Italian sausage for an Italian is like six years without insulin for a diabetic. Life is not worth living, if there is life at all. I fried all four packages; he bought a Wegman's brand of sweet and hot, Ginnelli's brand of sweet and hot, all looking so appealingly pink and tasty. Ron's solution to testing all food is the sniff test. If it does not smell bad or have mold, it is safe to eat, but I keep reminding him that botulism is odorless and tasteless. Throwing caution to the wind, I fried them getting gratification just watching them turn brown, listening to the sizzle as the fats leaked out into the hot pan, the aroma whirling into the air. I put all of the hot sausage, now cooked into a freezer container and threw those puppies into the deep freeze. Now that I have heated the baddies out of them, I am try freezing the rest to death trying to beat the odds. According to the nutritionist website, they can stay frozen after cooked for two weeks. The sweet ones are sitting in another plastic container waiting for me to build up my nerve to take that fateful bite. We had thought of having a sausage sandwich picnic in the park directly across the street from the medical clinic just to err on the side of caution, but realized that is the doggie park. Who needs the competition for my sausages?

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