Budget Nomad: Fun in the Sun Via the Internet

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Fun in the Sun Via the Internet

How to buy an apartment online. Perhaps I should write a little booklet.

Closing was on Tuesday. Check that off the to do list.

Hired property manager on Tuesday. Check!

Hired painters on Tuesday. Check!

Painters arrived on Wednesday. Check!

Picked out appliances to be ordered on Wednesday. Check!

Created online account with Florida Power and Light on Wednesday. Check!

Moved electric service into my name on Thursday. No Check! Tilt! Nada, Nincs, No way Jose.

Their online form would not accept our address as a valid one. Sent an e-mail to our association manager who suggested six different ways of entering the address, most of them not using the name of the street as McNab, but rather 15th Street. I have not cared for the name McNab anyway. It sounds like the name of a pickpocket at a fast food restaurant run by clowns. Still nothing, so today I called Florida.

When you hear the initial message warning about how overworked they are taking other callers just like you, so please stand by, I just want to scream "HIRE more people if you are that busy." But before I could form the words, a live person as speaking to me. Within minutes she opened an account in my name and after asking for my social security number, she informed me that due to my "excellent credit" I would not need to make a deposit. Left me wondering what else she could divine from those nine SS digits. Kind of scary! So we were moving along nicely when her computer refused to cooperate. It seems that their software requires a middle name or bare minimum an initial. Sorry, I don't have either. Sorry, the computer will not let you move on to the next level in this game called FPL. What I was informed I had to do was fax in a scan of my passport or birth certificate showing I had no middle initial or name. Temptation crept in prompting me to say "Gosh darn it. I had forgotten about that F. that sometimes appears between the Ryan and James at rare times. However, if I had, it may have messed with my excellent credit.

When I feigned ever seeing a fax machine in this foreign country, I was transferred to another woman. She too was super professional, asked me what the problem was. She put me on hold for a couple of minutes and came back to say they would by-pass the computer code and open my account. How many parents living in Florida are feeling obligated to give their new born a middle name, because per chance that child may need electric service of their own.

Had I known when I changed my name legally from Richard James French Jr. to Ryan James that I may one day need a middle initial or name, I would still wouldn't have done it. That was in 1978 and this is the first time it has ever been an issue. Go figure.

So now 4035 15th Street, 203 has electricity. I hope to hell that is either 4035 McNab 203F or 4035 15th Street SW. If not, I hope whoever it is knows what being GREEN is all about.