Universal Crankiness

Our dear Balazs called today, distraught to say the least. At first, I thought it was an issue in his life; he was speaking so fast and furious, I had to have him repeat it before understanding it was about us. He received a call from OUR building manager stating at the last apartment meeting there were two complaints about us. 1. We have too many guests who let the elevator door slam shut and they find it disturbing. 2. We have not swept and mopped our balcony to their satisfaction. Balazs started to tell me the cow story, but I stopped him assuring him I have heard it. Actually, in the last two weeks, I have heard four versions of it, but the outcome is always the same. Animal rights activists need to be checking up on all of these dead cows. If you don't know the story, it is in the immediately previous post. Using minimal critical thinking skills, I suggested that they fix the damn door. We took the initiative of putting a sign on both sides of the door in Hungarian and English asking that the door be held until it is closed gently. We also meet all guests at the elevator now to indoctrinate them in case, due to their excitement, they miss seeing the sign. I can count on both hands and then need a helping hand from others to count the number of times Hungarians who were not coming here, let the damn door slam shut. They claim it would cost too much to fix the door, so they would rather make a bigger racket complaining about it. We have inquired as to the cost of repair. It is cheaper to fix it than listen to them squawk about. At least they will have to be creative with finding something new that we do to irritate them. Mopping the balcony? Give me a break! I have never in 7+ years ever seen anyone mop the balcony. Since we are the first apartment in from the elevator on one side, it seems it is our responsibility to sweep and mop the balcony from the outer hallway door to the part past our windows. So here is my solution. We will mop, but then post signs saying "We have just mopped the balcony. Please remove your shoes from this point forward until you have past our windows. Those caught with shoes on will be asked to pay a toll. It has rained at least an hour for the last ten days. Are these people nuts?

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