Thursday, September 29, 2011

Going Metro


There is an expression in US English called "Going Postal" when people go into a rage due to workplace stress. Since I don't speak Hungarian, I am going to develop the "Going Metro" phrase. This will be when one falls into a full rage, beating those who are standing in the doorway of public transport vehicles. 


When people say "You have lived here THAT many years and you still don't speak Hungarian?" Well, in my defense, if I did, I would have been arrested by now. First I would scream at these inconsiderate morons who insist on standing in the doorway as soon as they get on. If they were the last ones on, I could accept it if there were no more room. However, they shove their way ahead of everyone else and then stand guard like a Swiss soldier at the Vatican: stone-like and immoveable. If they were getting off at the next stop, I could also give them so leeway in their lack of manners, but no. They are still there 2, 3, 4 stops later, obstructing the entrance and exit for all of those who presumably have the same right to enter the vehicle.


If I did speak Hungarian, I would rip them a new one, breaking the record that a Hungarian linguist stated as fact; Hungarians can curse for an hour and never repeat the same word twice. Of course, this would lead to fist to cuffs wrestling them to the ground, which would be unfortunate since there is generally barely the room to stand in these modes of transport. Due to lack of the target language, I may have to resort to my mother tongue to tell these mothers what is what. 


I could not get far enough away from this trio. They were not speaking to each other, so my impression was that they were three ill-mannered egocentric individuals who chose to join the block the door union. It is difficult to tell from my angle, but the man was literally in the middle of the door.





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