Thursday, July 15, 2010

And for Our Next Trick


If I had kept a record of things that guests have done, I could have a book by now. 

We have a family here; five stuffed into a room for four by their choice. Part of our orientation, we show everyone where everything is located in case we are not around if they need something: teabags, sugar, milk, but this also included toilet paper. There is nothing worse than feeling like you are held hostage by a lack of necessity items. Our newly installed wall cabinet has a special compartment of that holds six spare rolls.

The first night, we were greeted with an apology. Mom looked behind door number 4, the sliding door that hides the hot water heater, our laundry soap and other non-guest needs and knocked the door off of the track. How she managed this, is beyond me. It took the carpenter a good twenty minutes to put it on; it was a tight fit, but slides smoothly once in place. It took Ron just as long to get it back in place.

Two nights later, the family is out, the two guests in the other room are out, and we are just getting ready to go to bed. A note falls from our bedroom door that went unnoticed until my eyelids were droopy. From the family. "We could not get into the large bathroom. It is locked. Thought someone was in there, but no one answered." What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?

The large bathroom with the only shower has two entrances: one from the large bedroom and one from the hallway. There are two skeleton keys for this bathroom, one for each door. Each key has lived in the lock on the inside of the bathroom for the last 8+ years that we have lived here without ever having an issue. Now the bathroom was locked with the lock locked on both of the doors from the inside and the keys were still in the locks. How the hell did that happen? Better yet, who the hell did it?

Picture this. The window in the bathroom looks out into nothingness. There is a five story drop. About four feet straight across is our pantry window which is only 2 feet by 4 feet high and wide raised up over 6 feet on the wall. Our first thought was to fling one of the kids through the small window into the large bathroom window. The washing machine is right under the window, so if we were  able to get enough momentum in our toss to get them over the great divide, the washer would break their fall. But, darn it all, the little buggers were not home yet, so we had to try other things in the meantime. 

Taking off the door handles only exercised our wrists with screwing and unscrewing. It had not effect on the lock in the least. I was able to get the key out of the lock using a screwdriver, but now that the keys were on the floor, what now? 

Panic rose up in my heart. Nine people in the place and no one will have access to the shower and the fullest can of air freshener was locked in the bathroom. 

We fiddled with the only other skeleton key in our possession, the one from the small bathroom. We tried and tried to conjure it into working, but it would not completely turn around. I had a dog like that once. He would only turn part way, never catching on to the rest of the trick. Our small room guests returned, taking a shot at it. He was finally able to get it to unlock. Thank goodness for guests who are professionals at picking locks.
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